rabbits are blue

May I Please Attend That Party

2009-07-06T01:50:00.003+08:00

Ever since i exited high school i have been invited to a lot more parties and events. Whether or not i attend all these parties and events is another story. If you're a girl who can't drive a car yet & have controlling parents, you might want to master the art of persuading your parents to allow you to attend these functions. So, here are some tips on how the way you communicate with them can effect their decision.

1. Pick the right timing
- Do not ask permission to go out when parents are busy or tired. It never works. Do not ask in front of their friends. They lose face when they have to say no to you in front of their friends [you'll get fried when you get home if you try that & they may ground you for life!] Use low context culture - save their face.

2. Watch your tone
- Do not raise your voice [even when you feel like doing it]. The tone of our voice is a non-verbal communication. We might not use words to threaten them, but our tone may be threatening enough to make them say no.

3. Body Language
- Smile and be natural. No hands on the hips [it indicates superiority]. Don't cross your hands across your chest either. Go up to them & talk to them. Don't face Facebook while talking to them. Make eye contact & don't lean against the wall. Stand upright [parents don't like to see kids leaning. They think its lazyness].

4. Choice of words
- Use the 'I' language instead of the 'You' language. For example, don't go, "You never let me out with my friends. You are not as liberal as my friends mother." That is the last statement you would want to make if you're trying to gain freedom. One could perhaps go, "Mum, I THINK i want to go for this party because....[your reason].... Is it ok with you?" Also notice the word THINK. THINK makes parents realise that you are not making the decision. Instead, you're consulting their opinion first. This will soften them up and make them less defensive. You might sneak out anyhow even if they say no, but the point is that you're being diplomatic and using psychology to get around them [it works!]

After event....
So, after they decide to allow you to go, you go & have a time of your life. But wait! There's more to it. Here's what your should do after the funtion to ensure that they'll allow you out in the future.

1. Stick to the CURFEW
- Passing the curfew will only mean no more functions. By sticking to the curfew, you are indirectly communicating to your parents that you are responsible and that they can trust you.

2. Say thank you
- Show them you appreciate their effort in driving you about. Show them you are grateful that they finally let you out of the house =P. It can be verbal or non-verbal. You could just say thank you & i love you or you could choose to perhaps give them a hug [parents love it when their teens hug them....awww...]

3. Prove to them that they did the right thing letting you out
- This means, not flunking the next day's pop quiz. This also includes showing some awesome possum exam results [parents tend to make faulty assumptions that bad results = too much outings]

Master the art of communicating with parents. Try these steps out & BREAK FREE =P. Good Luck!

Signing off,
Jane Tai

Long distance relationships

2009-07-05T23:13:00.002+08:00

Long distance relationships be it among friends or relatives is not an easy one to keep. Most times, after a very long while, the relationship would not be that strong and the bond would be weak. To keep the bond of long distance relationships strong, it would take a lot of effort on both sides or parties.
Most times, both parties can keep in contact with each other through phone calls, letter writing and of course in modern times the most convenient way would be through the internet via emails or using skype.
Long distance relationships among couples would be a more difficult one to keep. Usually both parties would need to have a very strong sense of trust between each other. Besides trusting each other, both parties would also need to be honest with each other to make the relationship last. Usually after the period of being apart and the bond between each other is still strong, these relationships would have gone through trials and would definitely be a more lasting relationship.
At times, long distance relationship would also make both parties learn to cherish each other more as they would miss each other and also distance would make the heart goes fonder. But not all long distance relationships would last be it between couples or relatives.It is easy to form new friendships, but maintaining it requires a lot of effort. Hence, we should keep friendships that are worth our time and energy, because without friends, we would lead only lead a sad lonely life.

Table manners

2009-07-05T23:12:00.000+08:00

Ever since we were little kids, we have already been taught by our parents the importance of table manners. We were told what we should and should not do at the table. Even until now, we are being constantly reminded, time and time again, to behave ourselves whilst eating. But why can’t we just be ourselves at the table and act in whichever way we like? Who created these rules and should we even conform to it? Well, I guess it’s because table manners speaks about our body language. How we present ourselves while eating shows what kind of person we are and this subsequently and indirectly relates to our style of communication.
Table manners refers to the etiquette used while eating, which may also include the appropriate use of utensils. Different cultures observe different rules for table manners. Many table manners evolved out of practicality. For example, it is generally impolite to put elbows on tables, since doing so creates a risk of tipping over bowls and cups. Each family or group sets its own standards for how strictly these rules are to be enforced. We should never rummage through the dish or pick from the far side for your favorite food as this would be considered bad table manners. We should always pick food that is at the top and nearest to us. Also, when food have been picked up, they should never be put back to the dish.
Guest and elderly should be the ones usually first to start to eat the meal. And the youngest or least senior may serve the eldest and most senior first as a mark of respect. Some families even practise the calling or mentioned of eldest to eat before the start of the meal as a mark of respect. We should never talk having food in our mouths. Different cultures also practise different table manners, as the Japanese would consider slurping alright or even as a sign that the soup is tasty which the Western culture would frown on this. In Chinese cultures, it is very important the younger generation wish/greet the older generation to eat before they indulging in their own meal. In Mandarin, it is ‘chi fan’. Then, there are some cultures or races who do not practise the use of serving spoons while most would.
Therefore, table manners vary from country to country and culture to culture as different ones would practice different styles of table manners. Furthermore, it also shows that one is cultured, refined, and poised.

Personality

2009-06-29T00:35:00.000+08:00

After I have studying both Human Communication and Psychology for Personal Development, I begin to observe the interaction between human and also things that happen around my world. I found that it is really interesting because it does happen in our real life but we didn’t perceive it. For it happen naturally in our life so we even wouldn’t pay attention and discover it.

I observed for a period and discovered that there are various kind of personalities in every single individual. Mainly, there are two most basic types of personalities which are extroverted personality and introverted personality. For example, my younger brother is an extrovert. He is optimistic and sociable that’s why his friends found that it is easy to get along with him. Besides, his friends also enjoyed to be with him and my brother is sort of “party animal” and can makes good host. He spent most of his time to go out with his friend rather than stays at home. Whenever he got trouble, he preferred turned outward to seek for solution. Moreover, everywhere outside except home is the source for him to gain energy and joy and also to release stresses. There is a merit of him I admires the most which was he is good in maintaining all the relationship of him; which I think that not everyone of us can do well.

Let us talk about the introverted personality, which is extremely contrasts with the one we talk about just now. The second brother of mine fully acquired this personality. He is the kind that more oriented toward his inner thoughts and feelings. He loves to spend his time at home and precious each of his private moments. He doesn’t good in socializes and have few of friends. However, he is more emphasizes on quality not quantity that’s why he doesn’t takes it to heart. It is not easy to get along with him, don’t even talk about intimate friends because he doesn’t trust on others easily. Some others will miscomprehend that he as unfriendly but I know my brother best, it just need to take time and be patient to become his friend.

Some people said that our personalities are descent from our gene whereas others argued that it is influences by environment. I think I will take a neutral stand on this controversial. However, types of personalities need different ways of communication. We must perceive before we initiate a new friendship. We have no problem to get along with those extroverts and have a joke on them; but for those introverts, don’t be hesitate to move the first step. To be honest with you, they are the kind of friends you can 100% trust on them and later you will found them as the best listeners to share your joys and pains. We need to have both types of these friends to balance both of our physical and spiritual health. It is because (in my opinion), friends have become one of our basic “NEEDS” in our life and also source of our happiness.

Marriage

2009-06-29T00:33:00.000+08:00

Initiates a relationship, falls in love with each other, relationship has moves forward become more intimacy, start dating and do everything together, contributes most of the time to be with each other, makes a commitment and lives in a legitimate life are generally part of the process in each of everyone life. However, the most essential part is how you are going to maintain your marriage life afterward. It is easy to get along with each other but difficult to be pardon and understanding other needs.

Just for an illustrated, one of my friend got married when she was 16 years old. She tied the knot with her husband because of pregnancy and her husband only 1 year older than her. Both she and her husband had dropped out from the school and her husband started on working with a low paid salary. Both of their parents still can’t accept their marriage until now but they got no choices. In their mind, they always worried about how these two kids going to move on their path.

What they worried about is reasonable because based on my view, they are too young to get marry and even don’t know each other very well. What my friend told me that she only knew her husband less than 6 months before they get marry. Both of she and her husband still haven’t mature enough on their thought and can’t afford for the expenses. I really can’t imagine how they are going to raise up the child.

While the child was born, their marriage started move slowly toward the end without their conscious. When the burden had increased, they always fight for the maintenance fee and sometimes her husband abused her. She got no one to confide and cried on. Both of them created a boundary for each other and their distance had became far and far. Finally, they agreed to divorce as the perfect ending for the relationship. However, the baby is the most innocent one for throwing here and there by his parent. None of them willing to pick up the responsibility and regarded their child as a trouble.

My mom always said that “When you involve into a marriage, there is no different as you step into a grave!” However, if you want to start a new life with your partner, always remember that it is important to maintain yours relationship. The effort both of you paid in will possible make a change from "Grave to Heaven".

Read Me

2009-06-29T00:29:00.003+08:00

We all know body language is yet another form of non-verbal communication. Most of the time, our body language is the very thing that gives us away. How would the police know if a person is suspicious when conducting a road block? How do psychologist detect when you're lying? How does a person realise that you arn't actually listening intently? BODY LANGUAGE! Don't you think it is essential for us to know the meanings and impressions we create when we put on a certain body language? Below are some clues that will enable us to read people and vice versa:

1. Eyes and eyebrows
- Gesture: converging in the middle and frowning
Meaning: You are almost at your temper's threshold
- Gesture: staring
Meaning: ahhh...you're attracted to him / her; disbelief on your side & abnormality on the party that you are staring at

2. Lips
- Gesture: Retracted lower lip that is almost bit by upper teeth
Meaning: Holding back something and waiting for affirmation or action from the other person

3. Arms or Hands
- Gesture: Crossed arms on chest
Meaning: Doubt, mistrust, close-mindedness, coldness and impatience
- Gesture: Hands on the hips
Meaning: Aggression
- Gestures: Hands in the pockets
Meaning: Reserved
- Gestures: Rubbing Hands
Meaning: Anticipation
- Gesture: drumming fingers on table
Meaning: impatience, boredom
- Gesture: Looking at watch
Meaning: in a hurry, disinterested

4. Legs
- Gesture: Brisk walk
Meaning: Confident
- Gesture: Sitting with legs apart
Meaning: Relaxed or couldn't care less
- Gesture: Shaking or swinging legs while sitting
Meaning: Boredom or Anxiety

5. Face
- Gesture: Face buried in hands
Meaning: Distraught, tiredness
- Gesture: Wrinkle on forehead
Meaning: Intensity

6. Mouth
- Gesture: Jaw drop
Meaning: Awe, shock or horror
- Gesture: Yawn
Meaning: Boredome, disinterest
- Gesture: Biting nails
Meaning: Anxiety, fear, nervousness

7. Nose
- Gesture: Rubbing nose
Meaning: unsure, lying

8. Hair
- Gesture: Twirling hair
Meaning: shy
- Gesture: Flipping hair backwards
Meaning: confidence, flirt

Without you realising, you indirectly allow people to read you through your body language. Be alert and concious of the gestures you potray.

"I speak two languages, Body and English"
-Mae West

Written by,
Jane Tai

Express yourself!

2009-06-28T15:00:00.007+08:00

Yes, i watched TRANSFORMERS 2 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ last friday with daniel, damian, kit wei and gar jun. Its relavance to human comm you shall see as you read on. To all of you that haven't watched this movie, don't read this post! =)

It is common to hear phrases like, "asians don't show affection like westerns do." or "guys are numb and unemotional." In this movie, the director[Michael Bay] proved that asians are NOT the only people who find it hard to express affection. Sam Witwicky[played by Shia LaBeouf] was NOT an asian. No, he was a westerner. And yes, he had problems saying I LOVE YOU to Mikaela Banes[played by Megan Fox]. All girls go, "JERK!!!" So, back to the point; that jerk had major problems expressing love. He wanted Mikaela to say I LOVE YOU to him first. On the other hand, Mikaela wanted Sam to say I LOVE YOU first. Like duh, he was the guy, so, he ought to right?[hey girls, guys shudn't always have to be the one to make the 1st move you know] When she asked him to say I LOVE YOU, he answered, "ladies first." Cut the long story short, Mikaela ended u saying I LOVE YOU to Sam first. Point proven that guys are numb and emotional?

I totally agree that a big group of asians find it hard to express affection. However, westeners also face these problems. No, this is not a debate on whether westerners are better than asians and vice versa. And i also beg to differ that guys are numb and unemotional. My question thrown here is, why do people find it so hard to communicate their affection or say I LOVE YOU?

Some answers to that question:
1. Fear of rejection
- Saying I LOVE YOU might put you in a very vunerable position. You have just self-disclosed your feelings for a person. What if the person doesn't feel the same way? Your love is not reciprocated. You will be hurt. You are also afraid of how the person may react. Will he or she freak out? Will we still be frens or will he or she start avoiding me? Would you rather risk the possibility of losing a friendship by revealing your affection? Yes, no one wants to get hurt and no one wants to be rejected. But if you never say I LOVE YOU, you never give a chance for something to happen. You will never know if the person did have the same feelings for you if you never revealed your feelings.

2. Shy
- Ahh, shy.... Why shy? If you love the person, you shouldn't be ashame of communicating your love to the person. Come on, are you ashamed of the person? Are you afraid of what your friends might think? If you think you love someone, prove it; say I LOVE YOU.
Remember: no guts, no glory.

3. I LOVE YOU is used too flippantly
- Yes, I LOVE YOU is used very flippantly these days, but what difference does it make to you? The person you are saying it to will be able to tell whether or not you are just saying it or that you mean it. So, eventhough the phrase is used flippantly, you can choose not to use it flippantly. Don't give lame excuses. Just say it. Its free; you don't need money to say it. Just a second or two.

4. I have used up my word quota for the day [this only applies to guys]
- I totally understand that guys have a lower word count than women. It's been proven by psychologists. So, if you know you are a man of few words, reserve 3 out of those few words. Just 3 - I LOVE YOU. Just 3 short words. It can't be that hard.

5. I'm tired
- This is a very bad excuse and must never be used at all cost [this is applies to both men and women]

6. Don't actions speak more than words?
- Yes, actions SOMETIMES speak louder than words. However, words mean a lot too. Children still feel insecure and unloved eventhough some parents buy them a truck load of toys. Why? This is because the parents are too busy to say I LOVE YOU to their kid or spend time with him or her.

7. It might backfire!
- "you say you love me, but you don't act like you do." So you're afraid that the person may react that way if you say I LOVE YOU to him or her? There is only 1 reason why he or she feels you are not showing love: You may not be speaking his or her love language. If your lover's love language is touch, stop buying them gifts. If their love language is is service, take more effort to do little things for the person so that you speak his or her love language.

8. No one ever said I LOVE YOU to me in the 1st place; so why should i?
- What harm will it do to you if you make the first move? Love isn't only about receiving. It is mutual. We have to give out as well.

9. Fear of commitment
- "If i say I LOVE YOU, he or she might start day dreaming and thinking about our wedding when all i want at the moment is an open relationship." True, some people really let their minds wonder and imagine that you made a commitment to be theirs for life when all you actually did was say I LOVE YOU. This is inevitable. We can't stop people's minds from wondering off. However, we can clearly communicate to the person from the beginning that we are not making a commitment of any sort.

You have NO reason NOT to say I LOVE YOU. Express your affection before its too late.

A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,
A song is no song 'til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay -
Love isn’t love
'Til you give it away.
~Oscar Hammerstein, Sound of Music, "You Are Sixteen (Reprise)"

Signing off,
Jane Tai

First Impressions

2009-06-21T23:48:00.008+08:00

I remember my first day in college, first day in high school and many other 'first days' or 'first times'. Lets get straight to the point. Today's post will be on the many 1st impressions i have created among my peers, lecturers and others that have walked in and out of my life. To start, i shall take the freshest memory of my first day in college. According to one of my peer, he had the impression that i was a quiet and innocent girl. Another thought that i was nerdy and fierce >.<

Some impressions of me are true while others are not. The friends that thought i was nerdy, innocent and quiet told me that they realised they were wrong after 2 weeks of getting to know me. LOL? Did i intentionally send out messages or a body language to make them think i was quiet or sweet or even intimidating? NO! What made them come to these conclusions? Body language played a major role. There are times when i can look very intimidating. This happens when im deep in thought. Unintentionally, i put on a serious face and might communicate the wrong message to people.

Your personality also helps others form 1st impressions of you. In high school, i was outgoing and loved being around people. This made those who didn't know me have an impression that im friendly and socialable. This was also the reason why there were times when students in my high school would say hi to me and i would realise that i don't even know them! The same reason why sometimes i get people from my high school or college adding me on facebook when i don't actually know them.

Unfortunately, there were occasions that people in high school had an impression that i was snobbish. The fact that i held many posts in ECA's didn't help much. Some people just have this preconcieved ideas that student leaders think their popular and are therefore snobbish and stuck up. This was not true about me. But the pre-formed judgements or pre-conceived ideas people have are just inevitable and play a role in their first impressions of you.

Finally, past experiences that humans have also affect the way they form 1st impressions of you. For example, i went for a practical piano exam last year. Young people being carefree and casual, sometimes tend to 'under-dress' for occasions. Fortunately, i was informed in advance to dress formally and talk politely to the examiner. The effort to comply to a suitable dress code actually gave the examiner a better impression of me. He commented in my marksheet that the formal attire i wore made a positive impression of me because he had good experiences with exam candidates who dressed formally and horid memories of those who walked in with jeans or shorts.

First impressions are irreversible. Yes, one might be able to prove to that person that his or her 1st impression of you was wrong. His or her attitude towards you may or may not change. But bottom line, the first impression was already formed and one can do nothing to change that because you will have no more first-time-meeting-occasions with that person.

What first impressions have you created?

Written 9hrs and 9mins before the human comm midterm paper by,
jane tai =)

Family

2009-06-14T16:19:00.005+08:00

The word “FAMILY” is a very important word as some take it to mean shortly for “Father and Mother I Love You”. The definition of the world family would actually mean a fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children or some can also denotes it as a collective body of persons who live in one house, and under one head or manager; a household including parents, children and servants, and as some cases maybe, lodgers or boarders.

Every family would have its own family values and this would mean to have good thoughts, good intentions or good deeds, to love and to care for those whom we are close to and are part of our primary social group or our community, such as children, parents, other family members and friends. We should always bear in mind to treat others with the same set of values, in the same manner we wish to be treated.

Those who have been lucky to possess the sense of family values would be considerate and careful with their conduct making sure not to leave behind a poisoned and polluted world for one’s family and loved ones. Also, those who possess a sense of family values would not support, nor stab their community in the back or to destroying families.

Family is very important, as most of the time, our family would be the one who would stand and back us up in whatever we do. Friends are important but we will someday come to realize that our family is whom we can really count on when we need help. When we go through the ups and downs in life, they are there for us no matter what. We cannot choose our family, but we can choose our friends. Therefore we should learn to appreciate our family and not to take advantage of them at all times.

Laughter

2009-06-14T16:14:00.003+08:00

Laughter is the best medicine. We’ve heard the expression time and again. Laughter can work wonders when one if feeling down and is all stressed up. There are many benefits of laughter ranging from the strengthening the immune system to reducing food cravings, and to decreasing one’s threshold for pain. Some even say that laughter can prolong our lifespan and for decades, researchers have the opinion and have explored how laughter or humor can help patients relieve stress and heal more quickly.

Some researchers have taken it one step further, researching on how laughter can help certain professionals cope with their difficult jobs, and how laughter can increase communication in the workplace and in the classroom. Everyone loves someone who can make them laugh, therefore the more you share your sense of humor, the more friends you'll more likely have.

Laughter can also bring the balance we need to get through turbulences in life. When we have problems, instead of moping and brooding over it, we should laugh about it. Also, we should learn to laugh with others when we are being laughed at. This way, we'll feel more carefree.

There are so many benefits of laughter. For instance, it can dissolve tension, stress, anxiety, irritation, anger, grief and depression. Like crying, laughter lowers inhibitions allowing the release of pent-up emotions. A person without a sense of humor is like a car without shock absorbers.
Therefore laugh and add spice to life! Laughter is good for the body and soul.

Communication Climates

2009-06-14T02:51:00.001+08:00

On Wednesday, my Human Communication lecturer Mr. Murali taught us about the Communication Climates. When he talked about direct aggression, then an incident that happened at the pass struck me up. I decided to write it out because I think it was really related to the lesson I had learned in the class.

I had worked in a lawyer firm as a receptionist two years ago. Joyce was the account manager and also the head of mine. She was a kind and integrity person. I had learned a lot of things from her and she was generous in teaching me the account works. Later on she elevated me as her assistant and we cooperated good with each other.

One day I was late to work because had caught in a very…very…very…bad traffic jam. I was late about two hours so I asked Joyce to inform the boss. When I arrived, one of my bosses just instructed me to took half day leave without any reason. Even I knew it was wrong to be late but half day leave required 4 hours and I’m just late for two hours. That made me felt unfair because I wasn’t late on purpose.

Joyce also felt that was unjust for me so she went in to the bosses room and argued with them. That surprised me because I decided to obey the bosses instruction and doesn’t wish to mess up the business. I had no idea what they talked about in the conversation but one thing I knew was one of the bosses really got mad. Maybe he felt a little bit of guilty so he refused to continue the conversation. He slapped on the table and left the room. This doesn’t make Joyce to stop but she still continued her argument with the other boss. I really admired on her bravery because I knew myself very well. I would never ever damn to against my boss even I knew it was not all my fault. What can I say, most of people will commonly choose the same choice as mine to keep their job safe.

I think this incident had completely showed out the spiral reinforce climates that can happen in two level. The first one is escalatory conflict spirals which both parties start up with a negative conversation and this is where the conflict happened. The second level is de-escalatory conflict spirals and it occurs when one of the parties try to stop and withdraw from the negative conversation.

2009-06-14T02:44:00.002+08:00

One day I had finished my work and felt boring, so I switched on the TV and tried to spend time on it. I keep pressing the button on the remote control but still cannot meet any channel that can attract me. When I decided to switch off the TV, an advertisement on the TV had carried out my view on it. It was a body slim advertisement but I had forgotten the slimming centre name. The advertisement showed that how a super fat lady can become a slim and attractive beauty within 3 months time. I think this is a successful advertisement because of the effect that can attracted a thousand of female to give a try.

I think advertisement is a very powerful tool to convey a message toward the public. It communicated the manufacturer with the public and helps to understand the public needs. It brings out the latest news to help the public keep on track with time. Sometimes the manufacturer even invited the famous artist as their mouthpiece to help promote the products. These manufacturers know that it is better to let the well known mouthpiece persuade the consumers to buy their product rather than spend money on things that are lack effectiveness. Actually what I perceive was most of the product get to be well known is based on how much they had invested into the advertisement but not based on the product’s quality. For instance, Madonna become mouthpiece of the brand Louis Vuitton. To showed the adoration, her crazy fans will glad to spend their whole year salary for a stupid bag that cost about a few thousand ringgit.

Now you can see that how powerful an advertisement can be. It communicate us with the new era and I found the saddest part was people can’t live without it. The most terrible things were we will be terminated from the society if we failed to keep advance with the era.

A Special Cafe

2009-06-08T11:17:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I was trying to get online at my home and to post up the article on the blog. After I tried it, ……. I think more than 20 times than I just gave up. It really was a stupid network. I brought my lab top and started think for a place to get online. After a few minutes I still haven’t think out a perfect place to go on so I just went to Metro Prima and hope that I could find an ideal place there. After I drove for a round, I saw a parking right in front of a café so I just parked my car there and went into the café.

The café was really special. Besides of the comic books provided there, there were also a lot of the comic protagonist’s model lay out and display on the wall there. For instance, like spiderman, superman and also the actors of the evil side. These models seem too realistic and make me felt like someone is staring at me. After I found a place to sit down, then I started on my work.

I finished up my work and take a look on my watch, 2 hours were pass through without my conscious. Then I quickly cleaned up my things and when I was looking for my file, I saw a big board hanging on the wall and full with various color of note papers. This had attracted me to stand up and moved closer to have a look. I think all this note papers were left by different people that had been here before. I spent about 1 hour to read through every single message that left on the board. Through all this different message and handwriting, I can probably read through the writer mind, knew what are they thinking of, felt what they feel and figured out what kind of character are they playing. The handwriting itself has speak a thousand word. Some of them were came here for celebration, some of them were broke up with their boyfriend or girlfriend, some of them started on a new relationship, some of them leave down the declaration of love to their lover, different type of wishing like friendship forever or love someone till the end of the day. There was a very special message that wishing him own self a happy birthday. I think the person felt lonely during that moment and I guess that was a female. I hope that I could been around and celebrate it with her at that moment even I don’t know who is she.

I found that it was interesting because I can get to know their feeling even we don’t know each other before. The board had showed out different feeling and all of them had been sat together at the same place and the same time. I was wondering , can this be counted as a communication??! Well, hope that someone can tell me.

A Game

2009-06-07T18:45:00.002+08:00

Last week Friday I had been invited to a party. It was my friend 21 years old birthday which was very meaningful to her. Thus, her parent grandly organized a birthday party for her. There were others friend of mine been invited to the party too and most of them were my primary schoolmate. We didn’t contact with each other for a long time so there are a lot of topic to chat on. I felt a little bit of surprise because it was a very congenial conversation chat although we didn’t meet for a period of time.

Actually the party was a kind like boring because the host was busy on entertaining others guests. We just self serviced ourselves and “entertained” ourselves while waiting for the time to sing the birthday song and cut the cake. I think because it was too…too…too…boring so one of my funny friend came out with a brilliant idea. He said “ Why don’t we play a game ourselves while waiting for the time. You guys queue up follow by a boy and a girl. I will think out a things and told the first person. He or she only can act to describe the things to the second person behind. The second person than act it to the person behind him follow up one by one until the message pass through all of you guys and finally come to the last person . The last one have to guess out what is it. If anyone says a single word than is consider loss and have to accept punishment. So what do you all think, agree or not?” What can we say, of course all of us agree since there is nothing to do.

We all queued up follow by his direction and started on the game. Everyone seems to enjoy the game and some of them laugh out exaggerate when comes to the term “sanitary napkin”. One of the guy expressed it clumsy and funny because of his movement. I can’t control myself and laugh out loudly until the tears come out. I really don’t know what the … was he acting.

All of us were having fun and the time had passed through without our conscious. Finally came to the turn for the birthday song so everyone gathered around and celebrated it. After finish the cake and once again wished the host a happy birthday, I just went home. On the way back, I was thinking that there is nothing for in the party for me to keep in my memory except the game. It reminded me for the lesson I had learned from Human Com and I found that it was truly related to each of our single daily life. So I decided to write it out just to share with other and thank you for your time.

Written by

Judy

][ Words speak Volumes.. ][

2009-06-03T02:20:00.000+08:00

You guys should read this. I thought it beautiful.

Racism still sadly continues.

By Amit Chubbah ( 21/04/08 ).

Racism comes in many different shapes and forms,

Sadly I have had my fair share since I’ve been born,

Judged before I have been even given a chance,

Delaying my future and for my career to advance.

My parents tell me of stories they have had to endure ,

I wish racism was a sickness with a dose of medication to cure,

Thankfully there are good hearted and educated people,

Who can look beyond skin colour and treat us all as an equal.

Why would another person’s skin colour be such an issue?

Get to know them; they might have things in common just like you,

I am so fed up of hearing “They from so and so, they all the same”,

Everyone has differences but skin colour is not to blame.

I wonder sometimes is it because the racist themselves are afraid to mix,

Who knows, I am only looking for a solution to get it fixed,

It’s a major problem none of us like or need,

How sad to hear, a racist sees skin colour the only reason to want to make you bleed,

You see films like ‘Mississippi Burning’,

I think to myself that was then but when are racist going to start learning?

If humans never saw in colour, what would it be like then?

I am sure everyone would get along and call each other friend,

I hope my kids and the next generation never get to witness racism first hand,

Lets pray for them racism was a issue in the past that no longer stands.

Life is hard as it is, without the need of racism,

Like supporting our family and giving our kids a good education,

Ways to stop racism should begin at home and school,

Getting along will be our biggest advantage, our strongest tool,

I did have people who I did call friends,

But their own racist views meant our friendship had to end.

It does not matter, if your white, black or brown,

You should feel safe to walk and talk in any town,

Racism has to be erased from every country and every street,

Knowing racism is not an issue when theirs someone new we meet,

Everyone has the right to go anywhere they choose,

Because whilst racism is still alive, no one wins, everybody lose.

To those facing racism, all I can say is be brave and stay strong,

To those racist, deep down in your heart you must know it’s wrong?

God blessed us by putting us here, giving us all different shades of colour,

Were not meant to have the same colour skin, but we all can respect one another.

Martin Luther King Jr said in 1963 “I have a dream”

But up to now it has yet to be seen.

________________________________________________________________

What do you think?

I think this poem is really pretty, in a sense that it conveys a strong message and you know it's true. You can pick up on the tone that the author has set. The sorrow, regret and sadness over the foolishness of people who have committed crimes of racism. You can't hear her voice, yet through the words she has chosen and the weight with each word has attached to it, you still can pick up on the mood that it sets too. Words may just be scribbles on paper ( or in this case, pixels on a computer screen.. ) but because over the years, people have given meanings to words, we are able to pass on messages through these scribbles.

Each person would undoubtedly interpret this differently. But that's the beauty of it. " Meaning lies in people, not in words ". It's what you choose to see and deduce from it.

Racism is a very real thing, even here in Malaysia. It may not be so apparent as it is in the states because we, as Malaysians, have somehow managed to live in some sort of harmony with others. We've been thought to be tolerant and respectful of one another. Nevertheless, it still exist. I hope it ends too. You can help, you know.

][ Wink Wink.. ][

2009-06-02T02:40:00.003+08:00

Have you ever wondered what messages your eyes convey? Is it agressive? Soft? Inviting? Loving, maybe? Whatever it is, we all know the importance and yet how tricky eye contact may be.

For instance, I have noticed this while consolling close friends. When I broke eye contact with the person, they would stop talking and be silent. But when I kept my gazed locked onto theirs, they would go on talking, knowing that I was interested in whatever they wanted to share.

Back in Study Skills, we received this article. This article stated that when you're interested in something, your pupils tended to dilate. And it would constrict if

you weren't. Simple as that.

You find yourself in different situations daily, and therefore you can't just use your eyes in one way. I mean, imagine averting your eyes while arguing with someone! Here you are trying to wi the argument while looking like a sheepish shy girl. Unheard of.

So, what do you do when...

Talking to a group.

When you're with a group of people, it is better to have direct contact with your listeners. However, you should ensure that you don't just maintain eye contact with only one person as

other members would stop listening. You could get past this by focusing on a different person with every new sentence.

Talking one on one.

It's good to maintain eye contact with someone to show you're interested. It is not good to stare intensely at them as it can be a bit creepy and uncomfortable. A break every 5 seconds or so would suffice. Also, when you're breaking eye contact, you could look up or to the side as though trying to recall something and not down like you're about to end the conversation.

Listening.

Again, staring at someone for too long or too hard, is not good but yet, you want to show you're interest! You could always opt. for looking at ' The Triangle ' - Both eyes and mouth. You look at

each for about five seconds and then rotate. Nodding and the occasional agreement words don't hurt too.

Arguing.

When you're arguing, you tend to hold people's gaze to show strength. If you look away, you have all but lost the argument. Obviously this depends with who you're arguing with. But generally, it's better to hold a person's gaze whilst making your point. I'm sure we've all come across a person who is great at arguing and making you feel small. You'll notice that people like that try to stare you out. Stare back, it will surprise them, piss them off and put them off what they are trying to say. Staying silent and staring at someone who is trying to rile you is also an effective way to win an argument without saying a word. Neat, huh :)

Attracting someone.

Did you know you could talk and listen with just your eyes? When a person you like is speaking use the whole face as your focal point. Look at their eyes, listen to what they are saying, smile in the appropriate places, raise your eyebrows in the appropriate places. If you feel you are staring at them move to their other features such as their lips, their cheeks, their nose and then back to their eyes. Smiling when listening to someone is a great way to show you are interested in them, obviously don’t smile when they have just told you their pet died last night. You have to listen with your ears as well as listening with your eyes ( yes I did mean listening with your eyes, you listen to someone’s body language with your eyes ).

Loving someone.

You often see in movies where the guy and girl would just be sharing a prolonged gaze into each others eyes and it's a very special thing to just stare without talking. They can both see each other's pupil's dilating and this creates a strong bond between people.

So, use your eyes carefully. It's a great weapon.

][ Courtesy Mertesy.. ][

2009-06-02T00:45:00.007+08:00

You know how sometimes accidents happen? Okay, not even accidents. Let's just take your lunch break for example.

You're probably sitting in Ali Maju or Mama's Kitchen or * insert place here *, and you're having a pleasant lunch! Horrid food, but good company and hopefully the weather's not too hot. Everyone's wrapped up in conversation and you're having laughs when all of a sudden.. there's this insanely loud belch!

That is so rude!

So you ( or me anyways.. because I just can't stand such behavior.. ) end up glaring at the person for such an act! The nerve of him.. Then he just mumbles a sorry that you know he doesn't mean and laughs it off.

My point here is.

Have you ever noticed how tons of people just seem to use the word " Sorry " ever so lightly? According to the dictionary, sorry is a feeling or expression of regret, sorrow, a sense of loss over something done or undone. If you actually look at it, that one word carries lots of weight. Apologizing could be the difference whether countries actually go to war or remain peaceful. It's what makes long frienships last. It's the key to maintaining marriages! See how important it is?

So when someone just uses it so lightly without meaning it though those words leave their lips, what's the point? It cheapens the worth of the word! No point in doing something just for courtesy's sake. It's like asking you a question without really caring about the answer.

It's horrid really. I wish people didn't do that.

So, next time you do something wrong and want to apologize, please ensure you mean it if not, just don't say it.

My Self-Esteem

2009-06-01T12:02:00.002+08:00

Even people always said that inner beauty is more important than one’s look and have been advocated for not to judge a book by it’s cover , but we still cannot ignore that our look is playing an important role by giving other first impression especially for female. They take care of their look such as their second life. They put whatever things they could on their face as long as they think it can keep them look beautiful and charming forever.

Unfortunately, something happened to me and it started since last year. It battered me down and make me feels lack of confidence during that time. It was a tough period for me and this is how the story goes on. From the beginning, there are just some tiny pimple grew on my face and I didn’t take it serious. I thought that just go to the beauty shop and simply have a wash on my face and that will be good enough for me. After I went to wash for several times, it didn’t cure my pimples at all and the condition got worse than before. The pimples on my face is getting bigger and some of it as big as the quail’s egg. I knew my face get serious than before. This was proof when I was walking and people stared on me. This has extremely struck me down.

I was very upset during that tough period and it totally destructed my self-esteem. I even keep myself away from the mirror because every time when I watched myself from the mirror, I feels like unacceptable, hate myself from being that. People around me keep asking me the same question such as “What happened to your face?” “Why your face looked so serious?” “Have you go for a doctor?”. I knew they were tried to be nice anshowed their care to me. However, what they tried to express seems like a taunt for me and it become a pressure during that period. I’m not only refused to socialize with my friend but also my family. I started built my own world and keep myself safe in there. I became furious and blew of steam on my parents even I knew I shouldn’t do that because it is nothing to do with my parents. My parents bear for my bad temper without a single word. I knew my parents were distraught of my changed, they tried so hard and found out a lot of solution which they think are possible. My dad even tried the best he could and had consumed a lot of his money and time.

Through the effort my parents done and the selfless love they gave to me, an idea struck me up and had conscious me for something that is more important and valuable that I should remove my attention to it. It seems like a sound that came out deep from my heart and surrounding me. One day in the morning when I looked into a mirror and stared on it, the sound said that : “Come on, Judy. What are you doing now? It is not a big deal. It wouldn’t bring to the end of the day. It just pimples and wouldn’t cause for death, but look what you have done to yourself and your parents, you are such a impious daughter for making your parents worried about you and bear for all your unreasonable. They are not suppose to suffer on that. Look at yourself, you are still yourself and what if you have to keep on this look forever, you still have to move on for your life. There are no choices for you but you still have to keep track on it, why don’t you go through your journey full with happiness?!”

Since that day, I turned myself back to who I am before and tried comfort myself into this new look. The most important thing for me was I have rebuilt my self-esteem once again and my parents feel console due to the changed of me. Lastly, due to this event, I have comes out with my own theory. “People feel friendly through your smile, not base on what you look like.” I will always bear it in my mind and it will provide me energy to go through every single day of my life.

The Conflict

2009-06-01T11:55:00.000+08:00

Last Friday, I went to a skin specialist early in the morning. One of my friend that I only got to know about her for 2 days recommended me the doctor . She asked me to go on early because about 7a.m. there was already a lot of people lined up there. When I arrived, there really a lot of people waiting there and I get into the line as other people do. There are two Indian ladies lined up in front of me and one of them turned back and we started on chatting. The Indian lady was very friendly. We talked about everything since there was nothing to do. Due to our conversation, I knew the Indian lady was 26 years old and was working in CIMB Bank. Untill the nurse came and gave each of us a number at 8a.m. than only we stopped our chat.
Since it was still early, I started find a place nearby for breakfast. I went to the back of the clinic and found a mamak store there. I find a place and sit down. After ordered the food, I was looking around but suddenly a loud sound frighten me up. I turned my head to the source and saw a Malay guy and a Malay woman were arguing on something than slowly lead to a quarrel. I’m not sure what were they argued for. Than the guy step forward and tried to slap on the woman which happened unexpected and it really gave me a shock. But fortunately, the woman ward of that and didn’t got slap. Everyone sitting there were staring on them. May be the guy awared of that so he quickly get on to his motorbike and leave there but the woman keep scolding him with non stop.
However, this scene had inspired me that since different races that only know each other for few hours can communicated with harmonious some more we were using the third language which is still tough for me, then why don’t the same race try to understand and talk to each other in a proper way to avoid conflict that may lead the happened of violence.

Cherish the moment

2009-05-30T20:12:00.004+08:00

Last Thursday, I visited my granduncle who had just been admitted to the hospital for stroke. The many results of stroke include, paralysis of certain parts of the body, deterioration of the brain and memory, inability to control emotions, and also speech and hearing difficulties.

How does stroke affect speech? According to medical references, there are 2 effects - 'aphasia' and 'dysarthria'. Aphasia is a disorder that results from damage to portions of the brain that are responsible for language. So those diagnosed with this have trouble saying what they're thinking. Consequently, it affects the ability to listen, read and write. Dysarthria, on the other hand, is a speech disorder that is due to a weakness or incoordination of the speech muscles. Speech becomes slow, slurred, imprecise, and uncoordinated. So stroke survivors can be hard to understand. Effects can be relatively minor and short-lived, but it can also be a long-term condition. Nevertheless, a disorder is a disorder, and we would still have to endure it.

So what happens if someday we (touch wood!) loose the ability to speak? Due to unforeseen circumstances. Have we ever wondered and thought about it? I daresay that I have not. Most of the time, we never realise the importance of what we possess until it is lost. So, it hit me then, when I saw my relative lying in bed like that. It made me realise how lucky I am that I am able to speak properly. My body is fully in-tact, and functioning well. The last visit I paid to him, he still couldn't talk properly. And my relatives and I were all straining our ears, trying to catch what he meant. It is difficult for us, because we it is difficult for us to understand what he is trying to say to us. But I think, it is more so for him. Imagine being unable to communicate with the other person. No matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to be able to say it right, and convey the message across. You try your best to reach out to the other person, but your hard work is just, unfortunately, futile. There were also times when he would get a little agitated. Because he just couldn't seem to express his thoughts into words. I think if it were me, I would be frustrated as well.

So I felt really contented as I left the hospital. I think we should always seize the moment! Live in the moment, as they say. What happens if we never get a chance to say what we wanted to say? No more tomorrows.. Like, for example, you've always wanted to talk to this person. But you're intimidated to do so. And then, before you know it, its too late, because you don't get to see that person anymore. And then, you'd just live in the past, live in regret. Because for the next few days, you'd be wishing you had the chance to rewind, and COMMUNICATE with that person. Communication. Its complex. But, nevertheless, its a major role in our lives.

So I guess what I'm saying is, we should be thankful for what we have. We should be grateful that we are blessed with the ability to converse with others. Imagine how hard it is for those who are verbally-impaired, how they have to use different forms of non-verbal communication to converse with others. So, since we are lucky enough to be able to communicate properly, lets take every moment to shower others with words of comfort, joy, and happiness!

Ants

2009-05-30T18:38:00.003+08:00

I was sitting at the kitchen table, desperately awaiting inspiration to strike me. As I was stoning, just sitting absent-mindedly, thinking of the next topic of my post, something caught my attention. It was a small group of ants. And they were all busy making their way towards the cake crumbs which I had so carelessly dropped on the table about a mere 10 minutes ago. But it wasn’t the ability to smell the sweetness in the air, or how they could discover the location of the food that amazed me. But rather, it was how a single ant could alert the rest of its colony, and lead them to the source of the food in such a short period of time that intrigued me.

Personally, I don’t think ants are very likable. They are different from those lovable creatures, such as dogs and cats. Unlike home pets, ants aren’t cute, furry, and nice to play with. On the contrary, they are teeny-weeny, insignificant creatures. We do not eat ants, nor do we find them entertaining and amusing in any way. Hence, I don’t think ants serve much of a purpose to us humans, unless you consider ‘white ants’ or termites that feed on wood. Anyway, how do ants communicate with one another? I don’t think ants can see much, and according to the internet, due to their compound lenses, ants see things broken up, like an image in a kaleidoscope. So this definitely does not aid communication.

But ants are fascinating little creatures. They have other special means of communicating. They communicate using tactile communication, which is a form of communication through the sense of touch. Ants communicate using chemical signals, known as ‘Pheromones’. This process, called ‘Chemoreception’, is the primary communication vehicle that allows ants to recognise other colony members, determine castes, signal attack or defense, and most importantly, mark trails to food or water sources. Hence, they are able to perceive smells with their long, thin and mobile antennae, which provide information on the direction and intensity of the scent.

So how does communication between ants relate to communication between humans? Ants are social insects, insects that live co-operatively in colonies, and exhibit a division of labour among distinct castes. Like ants, we are social creatures. We need to interact with our families and friends. If not, we’ll just feel lonely. Another similar characteristic is that both humans and ants communicate by tactile communication. Tactile communication is communication through touch, which is sort of, a mode of non-verbal communication. Although there are other more significant forms of intrapersonal communication, we also communicate a great deal through physical contact. Through physical contact, we can convey emotions of warmth, affection, or the opposite of it which is hostility, coldness, or anger. For instance, when comforting someone, we will not only comfort by words alone, but also by hugging the person. On the contrary, when someone is enraged, he or she might give in to anger, and give the other person a good smack in the face.

Coming back to the topic, ants are similar to humans in some ways. And more importantly, what we should bear in mind is what we can learn from them.

That Silence....

2009-05-29T20:13:00.008+08:00

Guy X: What's up?
Girl Y: Huh? *lost*
Guy X: How was your day?
Girl Y: Fine.

*silence*

Guy X: What did you do today?
Girl Y: Nothing.
Guy X: >.< *silence* Guy X: Wanna go out for lunch? Girl Y: No. Guy X: >.<

*silence*

Is the connversation above a dejavu? Is it the typical "guy checking out uninterested girl" experince? Or maybe "guy checking out unreadable, mysterious gal" experience? Perhaps it's just the "guy trying to talk to BORING girl" scenario. What if it was the "guy talking to angry girl" drama? *dangerous-ness?*

Silence in conversations and communication; good or bad? Is it "awkward silence" or "silence is golden"? Many times, we perceive silent people as boring or rude. Silence is used in many situations for more than 1 reason. A classic example is shown in the conversation above. Girl Y could have been angry or too tired to answer Guy X. It could also be that she was not interested in talking to him because she probably knew he was not her type and did not want to encourage him.

Silence can be used in classroom situations. A teacher is teaching Chemistry when a group of students at the back of the class suddenly cause a stir and the class turns chaos. She can choose to compete with the students shouting to get them to keep quiet OR use silence to get her point across. She decides she will not waste her voice. Instead, she just stops teaching and remains standing silently, waiting for the class to simmer down. To her delight, many students actually realise that she will not go on until they quiten down and allow her to speak. Point taken! The students settle down and turn their attention back to her.

The following are some facts you might want to know about silence in communication.

1. Silence in a conversation puts pressure on the other party
Fact file: It is a norm in the US to ensure that there is no silence when u are carrying a conversation. To allow a gap of silence often puts pressure on the other party to "fill the air time". In interviews, when silence is present, the person being interviewed may unitentionally let out a piece of information he or she intended NOT to say!

2. Silence can mean hostility
Some people manage their anger by just keeping silent! Be wary of a silent person altho it doesn't mean every quiet person is an angry person >.<

3. Silence can indicate disagreement
It may mean the person differs in opinion with you or that there are negative emotions. When a u human is scared, angry or embarassed, the brain naturally stops thinking. We often are left speechless because we just can't find the words or are fuming mad. These emotions flood us and most of the time cause us not to be able to speak.

4. Silence may also bear profoundness; Awe or Horror
It may because we have heard something thats too good to be true. A beautiful girl might leave a guy awestruck while a traumatic accident may leave one too horrified to speak. Sometimes words like "Oh!" or "Wow!" or "That's awesome!" don't seem enough; so we fall silent.

5. Silence denotes respect
Particularly in Asian cultures, the young are thought to keep quiet when elders are speaking. This is a mark of respect. Talking would show disrespect and children are only suppose to talk when they are asked to.

6. Silence indicates contemplation
Smart people think before they speak. Especially critical thinkers. They do not just talk because they have nothing better to do. This silent contemplation enables them to come up with brilliant and intelligent conversations.

7. Silence may exhibit intentional rudeness
When you refuse to reply another person, it shows that you are ignoring them.

8. Silence can display sympathy
Sometimes, we may not be able to come up with the right words that will make a person feel better. In situations like this, it is sometimes best we just keep silent and let the person do the talking because allowing the person to let out his problems may help him feel better. Our opinion is not always the solution to things.

9. Silence shows that we are listening
We should not keep butting in when others are speaking. This is very rude and only shows that we lack attention. Instead, keeping silent many times shows the speaker that we are paying attention and listening. (too much silence might indicate that your mind is somewhere else or that you're asleep!)

10. Silence is determined by you
Good or bad silence is determined by you! It is up to you how you want the conversation to flow.

Silence; awarkward or a golden moment? Think it over.

Signing off,
Jane Tai

Colors in Communication

2009-05-26T19:11:00.004+08:00

Do you realise that colors have EVERYTHING to do with COMMUNICATION? Colors are known as the ESSENCE of LIFE in commercials, advertisements and almost everything you come across. It is yet another form of NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION. For hundereds of years, colors have been used by mankind in cosmetics and face-painting. Colors can help CHANGE the way you look. Drawing dark lines and white hair can make you look old, while green make up will make you look ghostly. Without having to mention, BRIGHT colors can never make a face look sad. CLOWNS who do not use verbal communication while performing use face paint to express themselves.

The color of your FOOD is just as important as the way it tastes. Just imagine looking at a purple hamburger or a grey ice-cream. How delicious could that hamburger or ice-cream be? The color of our food often tells us whether or not it will be good to consume. Raw meat that is fresh is usually red. The same way goes for fresh vegetables that are green. Frozen foods often have additional coloring in it so that it will look more ATTRACTIVE to the consumer's eyes. A bright red sauce may look tastier than a brown sauce. Medicines and pills come in a large array of colors so that we can differentiate each of them and they will not look so threatening to consume. Colors also play big roles in FESTIVALS. Have you ever wondered why people wear red during Chinese New Year? In the chinese culture, red symbolises good luck. Therefore, when an elder gives you an 'ang pau' (red packet) during Chinese New Year, he or she is actually wishing you good luck. (Besides giving you the money inside!)

Colors are also used by TREKKERS to mark their journeys in the jungle. This is one of the ways they use to communicate with other trekkers. Colored markings show the trail or the path taken so that the other trekkers do not get lost. Colored LIGHTS are also used to communicate. Ships have lights on the sides of their bodies so that other ships can tell which direction they are coming from. Runways in airports are lit with green, blue, red and yellow lights to direct and tell the pilot where to go. Without these lights, planes will crash everytime they try to land or take off. Another classic example is red, yellow and green lights on the traffic light. Red lights tell us to stop as there will be danger if we do not. Yellow lights warn us to slow down because soon, we will have to stop the car. Of course, every driver loves the green light because it gives us the right of way to breeze down the road.

Here are some other ways that colors are used in communication. RED is often associated with heat and warmth because the cave dwellers who live thousands of years ago, fire meant warmth, cooked food and protection from wild animals. Red is also a royal color. When the Queen of England visits places, a red carpet is rolled out for her to walk on. This is a form of communicating respect.

Pick a random color. Maybe ORANGE? The orange robes of Buddhist monks are a sign of their dedication to the simple way of life. Today, many people working on roads or construction sites wear bright orange jackets to communicate to passersby and traffic to be cautious as they are doing work. In the 1930's and 40's telephone operators said, "Give me an orange" if they wanted a long distance connection!

YELLOW, yellow dirty fellow? Yellow is a color that has some very different meanings. It can be linked to sickness and weakness, or the life giving power of the sun. Yellow is the color of the sun. For the aborigines in Australia, yellow is the color of life, strength and happiness. At the center of the Aborigines' flag is a yellow disc. Beside, a flag called Yellow Jack is flown from a ship to warn others that people on board have a disease. Yellow is also the color of fear and cowardice. In additon, when people were searching for gold to make their fortunes, they were said to have caught the yellow fever. 'Yellow stuff' was a slang term for gold - usually gold that had been stollen!

What about BLUE? Blue is the color of the sky and of water. The Blue Peter is an internationally known flag. It is used as a communication tool among ships. When a ship is ready to sail from a harbour, it will hoist the Blue Peter to warn other ships.

To sum up, colors that we see everyday play a big role in communication although we constantly take them for granted. Life will be hard without colors. Color your life B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!

Written by,
Jane Tai

My Dad

2009-05-22T21:33:00.001+08:00

When people talk about father, what do you think of their image?! Most of the people will said that, he is a solemn person. He always warns us not to do this, not to do that. They seldom showed their love even they do love us and so on. Well, today I’m going to shared about the relationship between me and my dad who is totally contrast from the image that I just mentioned before.
My dad, big and tall, 47 years old and with the most remarkable trait “botak” ( shaven head ). His friends used to call him “botak” and I think he is very pleasure and comfortable on it because he always said that : “This is my registered TRADEMARK !”.Harz……this is the way he used to be humour and the most lovely part of him. Actually my dad really is a humour person. It shows easily when someone else spit out food from his/her mouth……. --_--”
Most of the times, people will say that father are closer with son whereas mother with daughter. But this situation and the position will change when it met my family. I use to communicate with my dad more often than my mom and even I faced out problem, I often choose to shared it with my dad. He is the best listener I ever had and plays good role in both advisor and supporter when I was down. We seems more like friend than father and daughter. How you get your first sex education?! Most of the time answer will be at “secondary school”, “my friend”, “internet”, “VCD or DVD” and etc. Guess what, mine is taught by my dad when I was 13 years old. He is a open minded and democratic person which make me feel luck. The purpose for him is to clarified our query and to satisfied our curiousity. ( But of course I know the main reason is to avoid us from making mistake that we could never imagine. Because once it has done, that’s about it! Don’t even think about second chance )
Besides that, my dad also cherish on every single minute that he spent with us. He enjoy to be with us rather than engaged in social activities. He is the man that no matter what happened, family will always be the first to go on. He took family as the main element in all of his consideration. What can I say, my dad is the kind of man that almost become extinct and this will be the term for me to take into consideration for finding a spouse in the future. ( If possible la… ) Furthermore, my dad would never being stingy for showing his by saying “ I LOVE YOU ”. This made me feels warm and fragrant. Just think about it, how many fathers will say this kind of word, some more man always think that their dignity wouldn’t allowed them to do so. Well, I mean even boyfriend also seldom open their mouth and say the word.
Father’s Day is coming soon, I am going to work on something for showing my love and appreciation to him. How about you guys, don’t think that you are old enough for doing it. Let me tell you something, no matter how old are you or how mature you are, your parent will always threat you as a child and this love will continue forever and ever. So what do you waiting for, this is the chance to show your love and communicate with them all out. Try to do something that can profound you and your dad, something that is valuable to keep in yours and his memory forever. Maybe this will helps to get both of your relationship closer and probably could understand each other more deeply. ( Who knows ??! )

Food & Communication

2009-05-21T17:38:00.002+08:00

Food is any substance, usually composed of carbohydrates , fats, protein, water and sometimes fiber, that can be eaten or drunk by us for nutrition or pleasure. But have you ever think of that food can brought to communication not only within the country but also the whole globe. Food can be different types and tastes that influenced by one’s country traditional, cultural, custom and environment. These different cultures brought to various of cuisine so that we have Chinese cuisine, Indian cuisine, Malay cuisine, Western cuisine and etc…

I just get Malaysia for all my narrate afterwards. Malaysia was composed by multiraces and the three main races in Malaysia were Malay, Chinese and Indian which already brought to three different cultures. So can you imagine still have how many cultures of others in Malaysia out of these three. Different cultures means different cuisine and what can I said “ Malaysians were such a good luck by bestowed with gourmet’s luck to enjoy various of food! ” Through these gave us the opportunity to know our friend from different races and background more better and learn about their custom to avoid “ something ” happened without what we meant to be.

Besides, some of my friends from different races, they are enthusiasm and like to make friend. Food is the good way for them to learn about each other. For example, such as family gathering, they often have a small gathering and each of them cook for a dish and bring some new friend together. In this gathering, they share many thing with other such as their cultural, experience and point of view. Due to this communication, we gain our knowledge and build a new friendship.

Like I always said that “ Food not only food, it also plays on other FUNCTION ”. Food not only to fulfill our hunger but it also plays a role in communication especially now. It communicated one country to others. ( Example : import and export ) When the standard of living enhance, the requires on tasty food will also increase. I hope one day in the future, I will get the chance to travel around the world and taste on different cultures cuisine. Furthermore, to meet different people and experience on their living style.

Food, Music & Art

2009-05-17T18:08:00.006+08:00

hey there! its Carmen. And this is post no. 2=)

I was watching a korean drama series the other day, when I came across this line, that for some reason, just struck a cord with me. It goes something like this, ' There are three things in life, that speak a universal language - food, music, and art '. Is this true then? I thought to myself. That they can transcend cultures, break the barriers between different classes in society or even bring together people of different nationalities? If so, then thats just truly amazing.

But, how? How does it improve human interaction? I think, that with the immense advancement in today's technology, all things can be made possible! Well, maybe not all, but most. This is my first guess. Technology here refers to, indisputably, the internet. Lets take music as the example. There are so many music related websites on the internet. And within these websites, there are many many sites dedicated to just chatting, commenting and sharing opinions on music with other people. For example, internet forums, message boards or online discussion sites. Hence, people participating in these web applications can build bonds with each other, and interest groups will be easily formed around a discussion topic. It is their interest for the same kind of music that brings them together. And the internet, is nothing more that a medium (is that right?), that facilitates this entire process of communication. Whereas, music is what links them together. Even for people of different nationalities. Two people can be on the opposite ends of the earth, yet they can communicate through the internet based on their mutual interest.

Next, food. Everybody loves to eat. It is often said that, some people eat to live, but some, live to eat. Theres no denying that. Malaysians already serve as living proofs. With so much good food around us, what's not to love? Food can really bind ties between one another. Alright, for example, my relatives from overseas, such as, my cousin from Canada. He was completely brought up there, as his family migrated there when he was just a kid. So, the last time he came back for a visit, he brought along his girlfriend who is a Canadian. So, what I did was, strike up a conversation with her by talking about food! Malaysian food, Western food, how did you like your curry laksa? Too spicy or is it just nice? What's your favourite local dish so far? Really, it was a life saver. And from that topic, it led on to other subjects. I have to admit, that sadly, I am not a witty person. And far from someone with high communication skills. But, I am trying to improve myself continuously. So, this was how the subject of food brought me and someone else closer together.

Thirdly, art. There are many forms of art, but right now, when I think of art, I think of fashion. I wouldn't say all, but I dare say that most girls love fashion. Or, wait, scratch that, shopping. Yeap, I think thats more precise. Most girls love shopping. Although there are one or two who find it a bore. Anyways, its like a hobby. And you'll love talking about it. You'll talk about your past shopping experiences, where the best bargains in town are, or how you got ripped off at a store, etc. It can go on forever. Especially if you find someone else who shares the same opinions as you. I know of this friend, we don't really have much in common, except the fact that we both enjoy shopping. Thus, our conversations mostly revolve around fashion.

So, I guess it does make sense, that food, music, and art improves human communication. As it becomes the subject of conversation, and will lead on to other subjects as well. So, when running out of topics to talk about, you can always fall back on the topic of food, music, and art. It can help you become closer to people, like it did with me.

][ I'd Never Date Sean Paul.. ][

2009-05-16T21:42:00.005+08:00

Yes, we all know how important it is to choose the right person to date because, you might very well just end up spending the rest of your life with that very person. Obviously it goes without saying that you should have good chemistry, communication ( and yadda yadda yadda.. you know the drill ) with the fella you're seeing.

So, the other day while getting ready for college, the radio was on and then a Sean Paul song came on. I don't really remember which one but, then again, most of his songs are similar.

For the sake of this post, we'll just take his " Temperature " song for instance.

Here's a link to a misheard lyrics video.

* click here *

Just for kicks, watch it and enjoy it. hahaha.. I thought it was amusing.

So what'd you think? Catchy tune, so-so voice with him moaning and groaning and mumbling the lyrics away. What do you get? Tons of videos about misinterpretted, misheard lyrics. No seriously, I can't understand a word he says! Can you?

With that being the case, I don't think Sean Paul and I are ever going to work out. Why? Well, we'd never be able to have a decent conversation. Communication barrier. How would I ever have a nice time conversing with him if I never understand him? We wouldn't even be able to be friends, much less start a relationship. I wonder if he would be able to understand me.

Pffffttt..

Communication is the process of transferring information from one person to another, successfully. You exchange thoughts, opinions or information by speech, writing or signs. Like it hasn't been stated enough, it should be a two-way process in which there is indeed an exhange and progression of thoughts, feelings or ideas.

So unless Sean Paul goes for english classes, or decides to learn sign language or carry around a white board, I doubt you'd be seeing me with him anytime in the near future. * wink wink *

No matter how hot and rich he is..

Yeap, I've definitely got a screw loose somewhere..

A Smile

2009-05-15T22:57:00.014+08:00

hey there, its Carmen. And this is post no. 1=)

A smile. It is said that, a smile costs nothing, but gives much. It enriches those who receive it, without making poorer those who give.

To me, I feel that a smile is a basic form of communication. Non-verbal communication, specifically. It is a form of body language, or facial expression. I believe that it is the first step in creating a friendship or relationship. How is this so? In the context of communication, a smile shows that you are open and approachable. Smiles exhibit warmth and affection. It displays the emotions of joy, happiness, pleasure and other positive feelings. So, for instance, when walking into a room full of unknown faces, what do we do? If we are looking to form new acquaintances, then we would most probably pick out a friendly and approachable looking face, offer a smile, and then hit it off from there.

I'm sure this is a common experience to all of us. I shall now illustrate an example. College. The first day of college is always a daunting experience. Everyone is anxious about their classes, but also, everyone is eager to make new friends. So, during my first class, I gave a quick glance around the room, eyes scanning for a friendly pleasant face, smiled, sat down, introduced myself and yay! Made a new friend. So I guess it is evident that smiling is a fundamental form of communication, as it comes before the act of introducing oneself and striking up conversations between one another.

Smiling is a simple gesture. It is something easy, isn't it? A smile takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. Personally, I think that this is true, that it only takes a couple of seconds to curve those corners of our mouths upwards. But, you can remember the smiles that others gave to you for a long time. Especially smiles from loved ones, such as our family and friends.

But, if this statement holds true, then why is it that some people are so unwilling to smile? There are many examples, but I shall now share this example of mine. I always join tours when I go on holidays. When you join a tour, you're not the only one in that tour, there are other people in the group as well. And you'd be stuck with them for the entire trip, which is at least (for the short tours) a few days or so, whether you like it or not. So, obviously, most people will try to make the best out of the situation. Look at the glass, as half-full instead of half-empty. Be nice to everyone else and try to get along as well as possible. But, there are just some people who are not friendly at all! Even when making eye-contact, they won't return your smile although you've smiled to them. It is inevitable, not to accidentally look into another person's eyes all through the trip. And its not like they'll warm up over the next couple of days, they'll remain hostile throughout the whole time. I don't know, I find it a little difficult. Not to talk, smile or exchange casual pleasantries with the people you know. In this case, its just awkward, because you go to places together for the whole duration of the trip. But, I guess everyone has their own reasons. We all have our own flaws.

Why should we smile? What are the outcomes of smiling? I think, that smiles create happiness, as the people who receive that smile will feel joy in their hearts. Next, smiling also brings rest to those who are weary and cheer to the discouraged. At times in life, we feel sad and blue. But, a smile from a loved one can help lift the weight off our shoulders, brighten our day, give us that small comfort or it can just simply help us get through the rough patches in life.

However, a smile cannot be bought, begged or borrowed. Especially smiles that are given out of sincerity. These smiles which are genuine and pure are just priceless. As said earlier, a smile costs nothing, but gives much. So, even when some people are too tired to offer you a smile, offer them one of yours, because this just goes to show that that person needs a smile more than you!Theres a saying that goes, 'smile and the whole world smiles with you'. So, why keep it to ourselves when we can choose to offer it to someone else and cheer up their day? It might make a difference in someone else's life. Or the start of a new friendship, perhaps? Wouldn't it be a waste of our lives if we frown all the time? So, lets all start by giving a new person a smile each day, we might find that it will help cheer us up too!

Language & Communication

2009-05-15T00:54:00.000+08:00

LANGUAGE is the development of the basic form of communication between human beings, and in a society. And just as it is the basic form, it is also the most developed. Different countries speak different languages and that's why came about hundred languages in the world. To get different races to communicate with each other, English came as the international language. Nowadays, English is used widely in the world of finance, commerce, education, research, and the dissemination of knowledge.

I am now taking my foundation program at HELP University College and was planned to advance my degree with the hope to pass my foundation which I found that it could be a tough life for me in the coming next 4 years time.For the first day of my study, I found that everyone here are communicated in English and they speak it fluenty just as their mother tongue.This is the first task that I met and forced th face it because I was grown up in an environment which Mandarin is my mother tongue and language I used to communicate with my family since I was born.My parents seldom talked to me in English even I was in secondary school, most of my friends used to communicated with me either in Mandarin or Bahasa Melayu.These have reduce my opportunity to speak English in my daily life and affected me for not prepare well before I go to college. When I step into the college, I found that it is difficult for me to accommodate myself to this new environment.

I still tried my best to learn and improve my English. In college, everyone seem to speak in English and now is the time and chance for me to forced myself speak out bravery even sometimes I still need to think for a while before I speak. This is the only way for me to communicate and get to know ones better. Furthermore, it helps to build up a friendship with someone new. I believe that I can overcomes this problem soon if I put more effort onto it and for my advise, is good for parents to communicate with their children in English since they were born because it could helps to make their kids's life more easier than mine.

Written by

Judy Wee

Zeus & Roxanne (1997)

2009-05-14T00:03:00.004+08:00

The picture beside is a poster of a 1997’s movie named Zeus & Roxanne which I strongly recommend you to watch it. This movie is about communication between two different species of animal and communication between human and animals. I hereby briefly describe what is the story about.
There is a dog named Zeus who owned by a little boy, Jordan is get into a relationship with a dolphin named Roxanne. Roxanne is looked after by a marine biologist, Mary Beth, who is a single parent and living with her two naughty daughters, Judith and Nora. Mary is trying to study and help Roxanne to get back into her own species because she found that Roxanne refuses to communicate with other dolphins. Unfortunately, another research team leads by Dr. Claude Carver, tries to capture the dolphin and sell her.
One day, Mary found that Zeus is stow away on her boat and follows her to the center of the ocean. Zeus is accidentally fall into the ocean and almost get kill by the shark but suddenly, Roxanne appeared and save it’s life. From this event Mary finds out that the dog and the dolphin can do “ interspecies communication “ which surprised her, she is intrigued and curious about it. On the other hand, Jordan’s father, Terry who lose his beloved wife in an accident finds out that he has relationships with Mary Beth, and they start dating for their first time, under the watchful eyes of the kids. But during the process there are many misunderstanding occurs which they had gone through it later.
When Dr. Claude noticed about the result that obtained by Mary Beth through the investigation that she had made ( interspecies communication ), he tries to use the same method for his experiment but didn’t get any reward from it. When come to almost the end of the story, it is a race to save the dolphin and Zeus, who kidnapped by Dr. Claude for his experiment and Dr. Claude finally was get arrested. It is a happy ending for the end of this story because finally Terry married Mary and Roxanne finds a pod to live in and is time for her to say goodbye to Zeus.
From this story I get an inspiration which is every living beings was exist with a delicate relationship that helps to communicate to each other and we can only learned about it if we really communicate with our true heart.

Written by

Judy Wee

][ Stop & Stare.. ][

2009-05-12T22:01:00.001+08:00

You know how sometimes you've gone to the mall with the intention of meeting up with your friends for * insert your reason here *. And, because we have all become slaves and followers of the " malaysian timing " trend, everyone is late! So, here you are in the mall, all alone with time to kill.

What're your options then? Of course you could go to the arcade, go shopping, get a good book OR you could do the next best thing!

People watching!

It's actually a really simple pastime, meant for people who are by nature observers. All you need is a comfortable location and you're set! Just open those big brown eyes and put them to work!

Amusing, really to watch the sorts of fashions people have on, the differences in appearance, the way they carry themselves, interactions between people, that group of wannabes trying to act chic and hip, couples cuddling up to each other in some corner and the list goes on. Of course this activity works best in a high traffic place where lots of people come by.

Like the other day, I was sitting along the corridor waiting for the Malaysian Studies class to end so we could go home. I originally had planned to just bury my face in the ' Ps. I love you ' book ( yeah, I'm a nerd. Deal with it.. and btw, the book's awesome! ) but instead, I had music plugged in one ear while my eyes were just scanning the corridors.

It was interesting. At one corner you had Aris jumping about, doing backflips and other moves practicing his parkour and other.. martial arts like things, not caring that people thought he was an odd one to be bouncing off the walls., literally. Then you'd see the loner shuffling his feet, downcast eyes with his files and books cluthed tightly to his chest. Then there was the loud group who made it a point to let everyone know they were coming by breaking the sound barrier twenty times over. Also, there was the guard who would be walking around seemingly in a trance making his rounds. Did you know he sort of sways from left to right when he walks? See, bet you didn't know that!

If you are NOT a people watcher, then OMG! What're you going reading thing blog? GO STAND OUTSIDE YOUR GATE AND PEOPLE WATCH! ( of course, this is assuming you are at home.. ) or if you're in the com lab then go sit along the corridor watch people go by. It's highly amusing, I can guarantee it! :D Even Ali Maju's a pretty nice place to people watch. Seriously!

So, take a little time out from your busy schedule and..

Become a people watch-er today! :D

Communication Channels & Miscommunications

2009-05-10T22:41:00.004+08:00

In the video above, it is obvious that there is an interpersonal communication (a.k.a. dyadic communication). This form of communication involves 2 people (Bush & Rice). In this scenario, communication was used to satisfy practical needs. Bush needed to know who the new leader of China is while Rice was responsible for informing Bush. Feedback was sent and received immediately and simultaneously between Bush and Rice. Therefore, it was a transactional model. The conversation was fluid and did not have a one way and static flow. In short, there was a relationship.

The channel that used was face-to-face conversation. This will lead to the fact that it was a verbal and visual communication between the president of America and Condoleezza Rice. This channel turned out to be ineffective because it caused misconceptions and misunderstandings during the conversation. It has been proven that the face-to-face channels are weak when it comes to delivering a detailed message. The best way to convey a detailed message is by writing it down in black and white (hardcopy). A classic example is shown in the video above where Rice informs Bush that “HU” is the new leader of China while Bush thinks that Rice is asking him “Who” the new leader of China is. This misunderstanding goes on for a couple of minutes and frustrates both parties.

Later, when Bush asks Condoleezza if she will tell him the name of the new leader in China, he misinterprets her answer as “Yassir” instead of “Yes Sir”. He therefore thinks that “Yassir Arafat” (the leader of Middle East) is now leading China. Another miscommunication has taken place because both Bush and Rice did not pick the best channel to communicate through. Again, this misinterpreted conversation goes on and causes bad conflict.

To make matters worse, Bush thought that Rice was asking him if he wanted “coffee” and that she called him “Annan” instead of “George” when she actually wanted to confirm if “Kofi Annan?” was the Secretary General of the United Nations. He makes Condoleezza confused and she now thinks that Bush wants “coffee”! He instructs her to get him milk and the UN. She replies “Yes Sir”. The same thing happens again. Bush thinks that she is going to get “Yassir” on the phone and states again that he wants the guy in the UN. When Rice asks if it is “Kofi” Bush think she’s asking if he wants “coffee” AGAIN and asks for “milk” instead!

This crazy misinterpreted conversation goes on and on and on. This video also shows that interpersonal communication can have bad conflicts. Communication is never simple. It is complex and should be done with proper planning. To sum it all up, choosing the right channels are important so that one gets the right message conveyed.

Written by,

Jane Tai