That Silence....

Guy X: What's up?
Girl Y: Huh? *lost*
Guy X: How was your day?
Girl Y: Fine.

*silence*

Guy X: What did you do today?
Girl Y: Nothing.
Guy X: >.< *silence* Guy X: Wanna go out for lunch? Girl Y: No. Guy X: >.<

*silence*

Is the connversation above a dejavu? Is it the typical "guy checking out uninterested girl" experince? Or maybe "guy checking out unreadable, mysterious gal" experience? Perhaps it's just the "guy trying to talk to BORING girl" scenario. What if it was the "guy talking to angry girl" drama? *dangerous-ness?*

Silence in conversations and communication; good or bad? Is it "awkward silence" or "silence is golden"? Many times, we perceive silent people as boring or rude. Silence is used in many situations for more than 1 reason. A classic example is shown in the conversation above. Girl Y could have been angry or too tired to answer Guy X. It could also be that she was not interested in talking to him because she probably knew he was not her type and did not want to encourage him.

Silence can be used in classroom situations. A teacher is teaching Chemistry when a group of students at the back of the class suddenly cause a stir and the class turns chaos. She can choose to compete with the students shouting to get them to keep quiet OR use silence to get her point across. She decides she will not waste her voice. Instead, she just stops teaching and remains standing silently, waiting for the class to simmer down. To her delight, many students actually realise that she will not go on until they quiten down and allow her to speak. Point taken! The students settle down and turn their attention back to her.

The following are some facts you might want to know about silence in communication.

1. Silence in a conversation puts pressure on the other party
Fact file: It is a norm in the US to ensure that there is no silence when u are carrying a conversation. To allow a gap of silence often puts pressure on the other party to "fill the air time". In interviews, when silence is present, the person being interviewed may unitentionally let out a piece of information he or she intended NOT to say!

2. Silence can mean hostility
Some people manage their anger by just keeping silent! Be wary of a silent person altho it doesn't mean every quiet person is an angry person >.<

3. Silence can indicate disagreement
It may mean the person differs in opinion with you or that there are negative emotions. When a u human is scared, angry or embarassed, the brain naturally stops thinking. We often are left speechless because we just can't find the words or are fuming mad. These emotions flood us and most of the time cause us not to be able to speak.

4. Silence may also bear profoundness; Awe or Horror
It may because we have heard something thats too good to be true. A beautiful girl might leave a guy awestruck while a traumatic accident may leave one too horrified to speak. Sometimes words like "Oh!" or "Wow!" or "That's awesome!" don't seem enough; so we fall silent.

5. Silence denotes respect
Particularly in Asian cultures, the young are thought to keep quiet when elders are speaking. This is a mark of respect. Talking would show disrespect and children are only suppose to talk when they are asked to.

6. Silence indicates contemplation
Smart people think before they speak. Especially critical thinkers. They do not just talk because they have nothing better to do. This silent contemplation enables them to come up with brilliant and intelligent conversations.

7. Silence may exhibit intentional rudeness
When you refuse to reply another person, it shows that you are ignoring them.

8. Silence can display sympathy
Sometimes, we may not be able to come up with the right words that will make a person feel better. In situations like this, it is sometimes best we just keep silent and let the person do the talking because allowing the person to let out his problems may help him feel better. Our opinion is not always the solution to things.

9. Silence shows that we are listening
We should not keep butting in when others are speaking. This is very rude and only shows that we lack attention. Instead, keeping silent many times shows the speaker that we are paying attention and listening. (too much silence might indicate that your mind is somewhere else or that you're asleep!)

10. Silence is determined by you
Good or bad silence is determined by you! It is up to you how you want the conversation to flow.

Silence; awarkward or a golden moment? Think it over.


Signing off,
Jane Tai