My Self-Esteem

Even people always said that inner beauty is more important than one’s look and have been advocated for not to judge a book by it’s cover , but we still cannot ignore that our look is playing an important role by giving other first impression especially for female. They take care of their look such as their second life. They put whatever things they could on their face as long as they think it can keep them look beautiful and charming forever.

Unfortunately, something happened to me and it started since last year. It battered me down and make me feels lack of confidence during that time. It was a tough period for me and this is how the story goes on. From the beginning, there are just some tiny pimple grew on my face and I didn’t take it serious. I thought that just go to the beauty shop and simply have a wash on my face and that will be good enough for me. After I went to wash for several times, it didn’t cure my pimples at all and the condition got worse than before. The pimples on my face is getting bigger and some of it as big as the quail’s egg. I knew my face get serious than before. This was proof when I was walking and people stared on me. This has extremely struck me down.

I was very upset during that tough period and it totally destructed my self-esteem. I even keep myself away from the mirror because every time when I watched myself from the mirror, I feels like unacceptable, hate myself from being that. People around me keep asking me the same question such as “What happened to your face?” “Why your face looked so serious?” “Have you go for a doctor?”. I knew they were tried to be nice anshowed their care to me. However, what they tried to express seems like a taunt for me and it become a pressure during that period. I’m not only refused to socialize with my friend but also my family. I started built my own world and keep myself safe in there. I became furious and blew of steam on my parents even I knew I shouldn’t do that because it is nothing to do with my parents. My parents bear for my bad temper without a single word. I knew my parents were distraught of my changed, they tried so hard and found out a lot of solution which they think are possible. My dad even tried the best he could and had consumed a lot of his money and time.

Through the effort my parents done and the selfless love they gave to me, an idea struck me up and had conscious me for something that is more important and valuable that I should remove my attention to it. It seems like a sound that came out deep from my heart and surrounding me. One day in the morning when I looked into a mirror and stared on it, the sound said that : “Come on, Judy. What are you doing now? It is not a big deal. It wouldn’t bring to the end of the day. It just pimples and wouldn’t cause for death, but look what you have done to yourself and your parents, you are such a impious daughter for making your parents worried about you and bear for all your unreasonable. They are not suppose to suffer on that. Look at yourself, you are still yourself and what if you have to keep on this look forever, you still have to move on for your life. There are no choices for you but you still have to keep track on it, why don’t you go through your journey full with happiness?!”

Since that day, I turned myself back to who I am before and tried comfort myself into this new look. The most important thing for me was I have rebuilt my self-esteem once again and my parents feel console due to the changed of me. Lastly, due to this event, I have comes out with my own theory. “People feel friendly through your smile, not base on what you look like.” I will always bear it in my mind and it will provide me energy to go through every single day of my life.