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Have you ever wondered what messages your eyes convey? Is it agressive? Soft? Inviting? Loving, maybe? Whatever it is, we all know the importance and yet how tricky eye contact may be. 

For instance, I have noticed this while consolling close friends. When I broke eye contact with the person, they would stop talking and be silent. But when I kept my gazed locked onto theirs, they would go on talking, knowing that I was interested in whatever they wanted to share. 

Back in Study Skills, we received this article. This article stated that when you're interested in something, your pupils tended to dilate. And it would constrict if

 you weren't. Simple as that.

You find yourself in different situations daily, and therefore you can't just use your eyes in one way. I mean, imagine averting your eyes while arguing with someone! Here you are trying to wi the argument while looking like a sheepish shy girl. Unheard of.

So, what do you do when...

Talking to a group. 

When you're with a group of people, it is better to have direct contact with your listeners. However, you should ensure that you don't just maintain eye contact with only one person as

 other members would stop listening. You could get past this by focusing on a different person with every new sentence. 

Talking one on one. 

It's good to maintain eye contact with someone to show you're interested. It is not good to stare intensely at them as it can be a bit creepy and uncomfortable. A break every 5 seconds or so would suffice. Also, when you're breaking eye contact, you could look up or to the side as though trying to recall something and not down like you're about to end the conversation. 

Listening.

Again, staring at someone for too long or too hard, is not good but yet, you want to show you're interest! You could always opt. for looking at ' The Triangle ' - Both eyes and mouth. You look at

 each for about five seconds and then rotate. Nodding and the occasional agreement words don't hurt too.

Arguing. 

When you're arguing, you tend to hold people's gaze to show strength. If you look away, you have all but lost the argument. Obviously this depends with who you're arguing with. But generally, it's better to hold a person's gaze whilst making your point. I'm sure we've all come across a person who is great at arguing and making you feel small. You'll notice that people like that try to stare you out. Stare back, it will surprise them, piss them off and put them off what they are trying to say. Staying silent and staring at someone who is trying to rile you is also an effective way to win an argument without saying a word. Neat, huh :)

Attracting someone. 

Did you know you could talk and listen with just your eyes? When a person you like is speaking use the whole face as your focal point. Look at their eyes, listen to what they are saying, smile in the appropriate places, raise your eyebrows in the appropriate places. If you feel you are staring at them move to their other features such as their lips, their cheeks, their nose and then back to their eyes. Smiling when listening to someone is a great way to show you are interested in them, obviously don’t smile when they have just told you their pet died last night. You have to listen with your ears as well as listening with your eyes ( yes I did mean listening with your eyes, you listen to someone’s body language with your eyes ).

Loving someone. 

You often see in movies where the guy and girl would just be sharing a prolonged gaze into each others eyes and it's a very special thing to just stare without talking. They can both see each other's pupil's dilating and this creates a strong bond between people.

So, use your eyes carefully. It's a great weapon.