May I Please Attend That Party

Ever since i exited high school i have been invited to a lot more parties and events. Whether or not i attend all these parties and events is another story. If you're a girl who can't drive a car yet & have controlling parents, you might want to master the art of persuading your parents to allow you to attend these functions. So, here are some tips on how the way you communicate with them can effect their decision.

1. Pick the right timing
- Do not ask permission to go out when parents are busy or tired. It never works. Do not ask in front of their friends. They lose face when they have to say no to you in front of their friends [you'll get fried when you get home if you try that & they may ground you for life!] Use low context culture - save their face.

2. Watch your tone
- Do not raise your voice [even when you feel like doing it]. The tone of our voice is a non-verbal communication. We might not use words to threaten them, but our tone may be threatening enough to make them say no.

3. Body Language
- Smile and be natural. No hands on the hips [it indicates superiority]. Don't cross your hands across your chest either. Go up to them & talk to them. Don't face Facebook while talking to them. Make eye contact & don't lean against the wall. Stand upright [parents don't like to see kids leaning. They think its lazyness].

4. Choice of words
- Use the 'I' language instead of the 'You' language. For example, don't go, "You never let me out with my friends. You are not as liberal as my friends mother." That is the last statement you would want to make if you're trying to gain freedom. One could perhaps go, "Mum, I THINK i want to go for this party because....[your reason].... Is it ok with you?" Also notice the word THINK. THINK makes parents realise that you are not making the decision. Instead, you're consulting their opinion first. This will soften them up and make them less defensive. You might sneak out anyhow even if they say no, but the point is that you're being diplomatic and using psychology to get around them [it works!]

After event....
So, after they decide to allow you to go, you go & have a time of your life. But wait! There's more to it. Here's what your should do after the funtion to ensure that they'll allow you out in the future.

1. Stick to the CURFEW
- Passing the curfew will only mean no more functions. By sticking to the curfew, you are indirectly communicating to your parents that you are responsible and that they can trust you.

2. Say thank you
- Show them you appreciate their effort in driving you about. Show them you are grateful that they finally let you out of the house =P. It can be verbal or non-verbal. You could just say thank you & i love you or you could choose to perhaps give them a hug [parents love it when their teens hug them....awww...]

3. Prove to them that they did the right thing letting you out
- This means, not flunking the next day's pop quiz. This also includes showing some awesome possum exam results [parents tend to make faulty assumptions that bad results = too much outings]

Master the art of communicating with parents. Try these steps out & BREAK FREE =P. Good Luck!

Signing off,
Jane Tai

Long distance relationships

Long distance relationships be it among friends or relatives is not an easy one to keep. Most times, after a very long while, the relationship would not be that strong and the bond would be weak. To keep the bond of long distance relationships strong, it would take a lot of effort on both sides or parties.
Most times, both parties can keep in contact with each other through phone calls, letter writing and of course in modern times the most convenient way would be through the internet via emails or using skype.
Long distance relationships among couples would be a more difficult one to keep. Usually both parties would need to have a very strong sense of trust between each other. Besides trusting each other, both parties would also need to be honest with each other to make the relationship last. Usually after the period of being apart and the bond between each other is still strong, these relationships would have gone through trials and would definitely be a more lasting relationship.
At times, long distance relationship would also make both parties learn to cherish each other more as they would miss each other and also distance would make the heart goes fonder. But not all long distance relationships would last be it between couples or relatives.It is easy to form new friendships, but maintaining it requires a lot of effort. Hence, we should keep friendships that are worth our time and energy, because without friends, we would lead only lead a sad lonely life.

Table manners

Ever since we were little kids, we have already been taught by our parents the importance of table manners. We were told what we should and should not do at the table. Even until now, we are being constantly reminded, time and time again, to behave ourselves whilst eating. But why can’t we just be ourselves at the table and act in whichever way we like? Who created these rules and should we even conform to it? Well, I guess it’s because table manners speaks about our body language. How we present ourselves while eating shows what kind of person we are and this subsequently and indirectly relates to our style of communication.
Table manners refers to the etiquette used while eating, which may also include the appropriate use of utensils. Different cultures observe different rules for table manners. Many table manners evolved out of practicality. For example, it is generally impolite to put elbows on tables, since doing so creates a risk of tipping over bowls and cups. Each family or group sets its own standards for how strictly these rules are to be enforced. We should never rummage through the dish or pick from the far side for your favorite food as this would be considered bad table manners. We should always pick food that is at the top and nearest to us. Also, when food have been picked up, they should never be put back to the dish.
Guest and elderly should be the ones usually first to start to eat the meal. And the youngest or least senior may serve the eldest and most senior first as a mark of respect. Some families even practise the calling or mentioned of eldest to eat before the start of the meal as a mark of respect. We should never talk having food in our mouths. Different cultures also practise different table manners, as the Japanese would consider slurping alright or even as a sign that the soup is tasty which the Western culture would frown on this. In Chinese cultures, it is very important the younger generation wish/greet the older generation to eat before they indulging in their own meal. In Mandarin, it is ‘chi fan’. Then, there are some cultures or races who do not practise the use of serving spoons while most would.
Therefore, table manners vary from country to country and culture to culture as different ones would practice different styles of table manners. Furthermore, it also shows that one is cultured, refined, and poised.